Worship and a Wardrobe Change

When my firstborn Hannah came along, I went overboard in being protective. I followed Hannah around with hands outstretched as if I was preparing to catch a bowling ball. Every time she rounded a corner too swiftly or inched too close to the corner of the counter top, I would karate chop the distance between the hard surface and Hannah’s head. My hand was readily prepared to act as a protective cushion against any danger. My thoughts ran wild with worst-case scenarios that would have made a great thriller movie. By the end of the day, no danger had fallen upon Hannah but my mind and heart had ran an intense marathon. My stress {and love} levels were at an all time high.

One day I was talking with my mother-in-law over the phone and I confessed to her that motherhood was incredibly stressful. I told her that I couldn’t wait until Hannah was out of this phase so that I could breath a little easier. She listened to my tired monologue and then replied, “You know, Melissa, as hard as it was when my children were little, I look back now and realize that those were the best years of my life. I would give anything—anything—to be able to go back to those precious years. I used to cuddle with Brandon in bed all the time and I can’t do that anymore. Sometimes I long to be able to cuddle with my kids again but they’re all grown now and I can’t. I know it’s hard, Melissa. Believe me, I know. But don’t miss out on the best years of your life. Enjoy it to the fullest because they grow so fast”.

After we hung up, I wondered if she was right. What if I was trading the joy of one of the best seasons of my life for anxiety and worry? What if I traded all the seasons of my life for anxiousness, only to look back on a life that I did not fully enjoy? That thought put fear in me.

Isaiah 61:3 declares “a garment of praise instead of a spirit despair”. That day, after my conversation with my mother-in-law, I made a trade with God. I would give Him my praise, I would put it on like a garment and never take it off. In exchange, I asked him to take my despair, my heaviness, and my anxiety and give me His peace and His perspective.

This past weekend, we talked about worship in our new series “Making Room for God”. This is another benefit of worship, we get to make this beautiful trade with God like I did many years ago. I don’t live with anxiety anymore and I am enjoying life and motherhood now more than ever. All it took was a wardrobe change. I needed to be wearing the garment of praise. I needed to keep my eyes on my savior and not my fears. Ultimately, I needed to rely less on my own hand of protection and more upon God’s.

Melissa Miller