Purpose

We all have our own stories of how we met Jesus. Some were born singing in the choir, some had radical transformations, and some God spoke to in the most unlikely and quietest of ways. Regardless of how or when, we all ended up in the same place: Navigating the road of our God given purpose.

While sitting in church the last few weeks, we have been discussing what “picking up our cross daily” means and how to apply it to our everyday lives. This led me to a personal reflection of my own walk with Christ and if I truly was seeking out his purpose for my life. I know I haven’t been perfectly obedient, and if I’m honest, I have probably been down right rebellious at times, but does my life reflect the love of Christ like I want it to? Am I embracing the purpose God instilled in me the moment I chose to follow Him?

This reflection has brought me back to the reason I chose God in the first place, and reminded me not only of the grace and love God has for me, but of his divine purpose for my life.

Personally, this last year has been one of the most difficult spiritual years I have ever had. I have grown in ways I never thought I could grow and God has completely changed the direction of my life. To be honest, I have been scared throughout the entire process. Scared of the unknown, scared of the change, and even more so, scared to go where He was leading me.

The amazing thing is that through all of the change and stretching and uncomfortability, my purpose continues to remain the same. The purpose that God instilled in me, instilled in all of us, is constant.

As I was reminded of this solid foundation, this constant purpose, I was both comforted and challenged. Who knew we could be comforted and challenged at the same time?! It’s funny how God does that…

I was comforted knowing that no matter where God calls me, no matter how awesome or how awful life appears, no matter how sad or happy I am at any given moment, God is my constant. He never changes and his purpose for me remains the same.

I was challenged because I wasn’t sure if I was really doing what he was calling me to do. Being the type A person that I am, I have big personal dreams and goals and everything is planned out on excel spreadsheets in a neat and orderly fashion. I like order, I like having a plan, and I like knowing what is coming so I can prepare.

Recently, God asked me to give them all up. Give up my career, my goals, and basically everything I had planned for and worked so hard to get. And I struggled with it. I even tried bargaining with God. I would give up anything else, but not what I had spent my life working towards.

I think we do this so often in life. We say we will give up anything for God, and then when he asks, we struggle to deliver.

Luke 9:23-25 says this: “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat- I am. Don’t run from suffering, embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?”

When I think about my life, and what I truly desire to achieve, it has nothing to do with my career, or any plans that I have put in place for myself. When I think about how I want to impact this world, I think about changing lives. I think about loving on people for no reason at all except to simply love. I think about unexpected acts of kindness. I think of Joy.

I want a life bigger than myself. And I think as Christians, we all want that. We all want to be more like Jesus. We all want to make the world a better place.

I want to know my true self. I want to have lasting purpose. I want to know that when I leave this earth, that I have mentored and loved and shared my life with others so passionately that they too have seen and felt the love and Joy of the Lord. I want to leave pieces of heaven everywhere I go on this Earth and I want others to want the same. I am a work in progress, but I am happy to at least be making progress. And every morning, no mater my failures in life, I want to wake up saying “Lord, today I choose to follow you.”

Natalie Woodward